Once upon a time, in Nazi occupied France...

Well, Inglourious Basterds was a great success. It was absolutely fantastic. Every single thing was dead on, from the uniforms, to the subtitles, to the Bear Jew's period baseball bat. There was not a single thing I didn't think was awesome.

Oh wait, I lied. BJ Novak is a tool. He looks like a completely incompetent loser next to Brad Pitt, whose fearless ego and demigod like status among the German army completely obliterate any chance BJ might have had to do anything even remotely useful.

But other than that unfortunate casting choice, the rest of the Basterds are perfect. You've got the crazy guy, the vengeful guy, the useful German speakers, and the little feisty ones. It's a perfectly rounded out crew.

A few reviews have said that it's too long, and that it drags out and so forth, but in my humble opinion, it's the perfect length. Sure, there's a lot of dialogue, but there's suspense and tons of plot development the whole time. The plot is so long that it's necessary to have two and a half hours to tell the story in. And it's totally worth it, by the way.

I don't really have a favorite scene, so many different ones come to mind. My favorite line though has to be Brad Pitt saying "Bon Giorno". You'll see why.

Quentin Tarantino

I am going to see Inglourious Basterds tonight at midnight, one of my fantastic job perks. Now, I like Quentin Tarantino quite a bit. Reservoir Dogs was pretty damn cool, not too over the top for his style, but still trademark-edly gory. Everybody of course knows Pulp Fiction, containing one of the most memorable and badass scenes ever to be put into a movie. And then of course there's Kill Bill. Crazy to the point of being silly, but still decent. This one is probably the bloodiest on the list.

Another one of my favorites is the seemingly underrated Grindhouse, in two parts, Planet Terror and Death Proof. Tarantino directed Death Proof, but next to the ludicrous zombie brutality of Planet Terror, Death Proof actually comes across as relatively mild. Planet Terror just goes so incredibly over the top that you wonder how the hell there's someone bloodier than Tarantino these days. But anyhow, Grindhouse is a great movie, and if you haven't seen it, go find it somewhere. It has Bruce Willis in it.

So bottom line is, Inglourious Basterds is gonna be f***ing epic. Like seriously. Brad Pitt killing Nazi's? It's Quentin Tarantino, Goremaster, directing A WAR MOVIE. How can it not be the most ridiculous thing ever? If you haven't seen the trailer, hit this thing here and let the amazement begin. I'll be sure to write up some time this weekend about how much blood he uses.

Ponyo!

I went to go see this movie with my sister yesterday, and it was fantastic. I mean, beyond the fantastic worlds that Miyazaki comes up with, the writing was great. There's great character development, great humor, stunning orchestral score, and an amazing cast. Liam Neeson, Cate Blanchett, Tina Fey, and many others make this an instant classic. Miyazaki has done it again! lol I should write reviews for Rolling Stone, I've got the prerequisite vocabulary already.

For when you guys go see it, I'll tell you my favorite scene: From when the well opens and all the golden fish come bursting out of the ocean, just let yourself go. Become immersed in the music, and just take it all in. It's the most amazing scene from a movie I've seen in a very, very long time. It's a truly fantastic movie.

And then you get to the end credits, with the younger siblings of some famous disney music stars singing the most counterproductive song they could come up with, as if the whole point of the end credits was to make everyone forget about how good the rest of the movie was. Don't stay for the credits, folks, or you'll leave with a rather disappointed look on your face.

Funny People

This "movie" was just painful.

It could have been some sort of passing of the baton from Adam Sandler to Seth Rogen, but it just sucked.

The problem was, it was trying to be too much of a comedy and too much of a drama. The standup was good, but it was always cut off just when it got on a roll. The movie would have been greatly improved if the dramatic story arc were largely incorporated into the standup. The dramatic parts were just sort of uncomfortable, and most of the funny parts weren't funny. The other problem was that Judd Apatow was trying too hard to mix the two genres, and they create this sort of weird... thing that doesn't resemble either. And tends to eat the part of your brain that makes you like movies.

(500) Days of Summer

The movie's great, Zooey's cute as hell, go see it. You might not think it's as perfect as I did but go see it nonetheless. I thought it was awesome, and I'll be seeing it at least once more.

The Hurt Locker

This is one of the craziest movies I have seen in a very long time. I mean, this thing is brutal.

The thing is though, it's all completely necessary. Yes, it's war. Yes, they are in Iraq. Nothing is over the top. It is exactly as in-the-shit as it needs to be, but that level of stark violence is absolutely essential to the film's main point.

The amazing thing is, at first glance it is of course a war movie. Below the surface, there is an incredible amount of character development. After the first ten minutes, you realize that you're practically in it with them, knuckles white with suspense and terror. There is no backing away; Katheryn Bigelow doesn't give you an ounce of slack. There is plenty of action, but calling it action doesn't nearly do it justice. The movie has a number of (necessary) brilliant combat scenes. They're not your typical chaotic battles. The camera follows around the main 3 or 4 troops as they search and destroy, which makes it controlled and logical. As far as I know, Bigelow typically does this in her films, so that her action scenes are coherent and followable. It's an incredible technique, and it makes it an absolutely amazing film.