INCEPTION

OH GOD HOLY CRAP. Inception is straight up one of the best movies you can see this year. I've already seen it twice, and the special effects still blew me away the second time. I mean, antigravity? How the hell do you do that without any CGI, on Earth? Friggin' blows my mind, man. And seeing the movie the second time made the entire plot abundantly clear. It makes great sense. The first time through is like a first high on some crazy-ass Christopher Nolan brand drug where you have no idea what the hell is gonna happen, and they when you come down you shit your pants out of sheer amazement.

Seriously. It's Glourious. With a capital G. And the Tarantino spelling.

11/10. Go see it, by any means possible. I need to see it in IMAX and then I won't have to see any other movies ever again. Also, JGL is a total badass. I think I'm gonna go buy a three-piece suit. [Click on that image to see it huge.]

Cyrus

I wouldn't recommend spending money on Cyrus. It's a bit of a laugh if you know what John C. Reilly and Jonah Hill normally do, but otherwise it's just weird and sad. The movie doesn't really have a point; if it was meant to be a comedy, it fell short; if it was meant to be a romantic comedy, it fell short; if it was meant to be dramatic, it failed miserably. I mean, it's apparent that with Reilly and Hill on the cast that it should have been funny. But they add the awkward factor in such a strange way that it largely obscures the comedic portions.

Same with the romantic parts: Marissa Tomei is beautiful. Reilly is fugly. How did this entire movie even happen? Does Tomei's character have a hidden penchant for pathetic ugly dudes? I mean it would make sense if Jonah Hill's father was one. At the very least it would show where he gets it.

Jonah Hill is the definition of Fat as hell. Seriously. One of my friends described him as a balloon, which is entirely accurate given the fact that he has like, weird womanly stick legs under a two hundred pound upper body. It's weird and scary. It also brings a strange sense of comeuppance when John C. Reilly just straight up says "Listen up, you little weirdo."

So yeah, my short description would definitely be "pretty terrible." Not worth the time or the money.

Cyrus/Inception

Sneak peek time! The Spectrum is showing a Thursday midnight showing of the new Christopher Nolan movie, Inception. It looks to be a really original idea and an absolutely spectacular movie.




Someone called the box office today, and of course I had the misfortune to pick up.

"Hello, Spectrum Theater."
"Yeah hi, I saw on the website that you'll be having a preview of that movie Inception on Thursday?"
"Mhmm"
"Does that mean it's gonna be free?"

Seriously. Same answer as to the question "Will you guuuuys be showing Eclippssssseee when it comes ouuuuutttttt?" Let me answer that with another question. SHUT UP.

I digress.

Inception is going to be like the greatest thing ever. With a "star-studded cast" and the "award-winning director of Memento and the Dark Knight", you definitely don't want to miss it.

The other part of today's preview is a movie that's already come out, Cyrus. Jonah Hill I can deal with. John C. Reilly I can deal with in anything that doesn't also have Will Farrell in it. Because he's a horse's ass. And then there's Marisa Tomei. If there was ever anyone to not fit in with weird-looking fat men, it's her. I'm skeptical yet optimistic that this will be any good, and at the very least it'll be entertaining. We'll see how it goes. Review to come tomorrow!

I'm super excited about Inception.

For realz.